BalletSlippers

//Juliet alone in her bedroom//

Juliet: Romeo! Romeo! Why must thee be my foe. You are all I need in gentle lover. Oh thou have me in such mess for I Don’t know what I must do with the fine Paris.

//The sound of footsteps are outside the door//.

Oh lord it must be Paris visiting. How do I tell thee to leave me to be.

//The door gentle opens and enters Paris.//

Paris: My beautiful future wife Juliet How art thee doing in these tough times?

Juliet: Not good at all fair Paris for I’ve been Thinking a lot about the recent events.

//Silencing her lips.//

Paris: speak no more my dear Juliet for I know That thee must be going through tough times now. Having to __deal with__ the loss of thou’s Favorite cousin whom thee loved dearly.

Juliet: Ay, I did have strong feelings for Tybalt.

Paris: I am understanding of thy’s feelings. If thou request for me to leave thee be Than I shall exit from thy room need be.

//Juliet slowly backing away from Paris//

Juliet: No Paris it must be that thou stay here For I have to inform thee of my wish.

Paris: What thy wants I can get for thy liking.

Juliet: I am afraid Paris that it is not Possible for you to retrieve my wants.

Paris: anything for you

Juliet: Because my dear Paris It is not thee in which I give my love.

//Paris is shocked to hear this.//

Paris: How could thee not love me for our Wedding is on the Thursday of this week.

Juliet: I am real sorry but I cant love thee.

Paris: If thou does not love me than whom do thy admire with such an loving heart.

Juliet: It my be hard to understand my love But the Montague Romeo I love.

//Paris is astonished and begins to raise his voice.//

Paris: Romeo, How could thee love thy enemy. He’s more than thy foe, he’s a murderer. He is the devil that slain our Tybalt.

Juliet: I know this may be hard for thee to get, But I would to be with Romeo for I love him.

Paris: I don’t believe thou love a murderer. He is being banished anyway so Why art thou not forgetting him already.

Juliet: It’s hard to forget my husband

Paris: Husband?

Juliet: Ay Romeo is my true husband not you.

Paris: I can’t believe that thou would keep me on This fantasy that I would marry thee.

//Paris begins to storm out the room//

Juliet: Wait Paris, thou art one of the fairest Gentlemen in all of Verona.

Paris: Than why do thee not love me if I’m great.

Juliet: Because I love Romeo so much I would Rather die than to be separated.

//Paris begins to cool down and think it over//.

Paris: I would thee the best if I can’t love thee.

//Paris slowly opens the door and closes it evan slower.//

Hello there.. -MintCandyApple

This is my comment - Demur Vixen

Hello I am leaving a comment on this page - Haute Hello

Overall, I think the piece is really good. I love the concept behind the plot with Juliet ultimately choosing Romeo. Just a few quick things: 1- Watch the syllables, at times it can be around 11 or 9. 2- Paris is only spelled with on "r", like the city 3- Its set in Verona, not Veronica 4- In your last line, even has an "e", not an "a." Overall thought, its really good.

-Demur Vixen

This entry has very good qualities, the most notable being its plot. The plot is very satisfying, as many readers wonder what would have happened if Juliet had just been honest and shared her feelings for Romeo. Other than a couple of typos (ex. in addition to the errors mentioned in Demur Vixen's comment, 1) "recent" is spelled with a "c," not an "s," 2) "having to deal with the **lose** of thou’s favorite cousin..." should be changed to "having to deal with the **loss** of thou's favorite cousin," 3) if by "hay," you mean "yes," I'm pretty sure it's "ay"), the only thing I would consider is making the entry a little simpler/easier to read. Often, you use fancy language that doesn't really embellish the piece, but instead, makes is sound strange (ex. "You are all I need in gentle lover"...what's a "gentle lover"???). However, the overall concept and idea is great, good job. - beachparty

I love this! However, some of the words that Juliet use are not in the time. Like when she says "I know that this may be hard for thee to get", I feel she should say, "I know that this is hard for you to understand", or something to that effect. Other than that, it's great! ~ hautehello

I really liked this! However, the play is in Verona (not Veronica). And you also made a few other grammatical mistakes. Like beachparty said you mispelled recent and said "having to do with the lose" (i think you mean loss! haha). Besides those small mistakes it was great! -MintCandyApple