TorontoBlueJays

TorontoBlueJays
//Afternoon, Rosaline’s backyard: enter //Romeo Romeo: O Rosaline, thine eyes as blue as a  summers sky, thine hair, gold as the sun upon  a face of Aphrodite’s complexion.  Rosaline, who my heart yearns, where art thou?  I cannot live without the sight of my sweet Rosaline.

//Enter //Rosaline

Rosaline: Romeo o Romeo, thou art a faithful  Pet ever returning to the subject  of your passionate soul. You will remain  a dear friend for evermore, and I do  love thee in this way, but you will never  find what you are truly looking for in me.  The sadness in your eyes cripples me, yet <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> My conviction remains steadfast, we will <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Never be united two in one.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Romeo: You have Diana’s wit, can you not see <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Destiny would us be together. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Did thou not feel the spark which lovers feel <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> When their eyes meet for the first time. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Surely you feel for me as I do for you.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rosaline: I would see the sun’s flames put out before <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Breaking your heart, but my devotion is <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> with God. My liveliness is with the Church. <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;"> This is my true destiny, I am sorry.

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Voice inside: Rosaline, Rosaline, supper is ready!

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Rosaline: Farewell Romeo.

//<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Exit Rosaline //

<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Romeo: What god condemns me to this suffering? My aching heart will never be fulfilled. This cavity in my life is a pain greater than death itself.

//<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; font-size: 12pt;">Exit //

Boston_Red_Sox:

Line 7: Pet dosent seem to fit in very well... just sounds off to me in the mood Roseiline is talking in.

Last Line: Death is sweet? If you are going to use this metaphor explain it more, because you are talking about water quenching your heart and i have no idea how sugar or sweetness is related to this.

Other than that this is really amazing! I honestly feel like i am reading the actual play with all of the great imagery and the awesome vocab. You might want to separate each persons lines because its a little confusing to tell when Romeo's line ends and Roseiline starts speaking.

LOVE all the the metaphors! They are all really good! Great job :)

NewYorkYankss

I really liked it, But also I agree with Boston-Red-Sox, that the last line is a bit random, you could change it to the death of love is sweet or bittter sweet instead.

But aside from that I really think its good!