BerneseMountainDog

Bernese Mountain Dog

I am going to rewrite the scene that Nurse talks to Romeo with Juliet dressed up as the Nurse:

//Curtain rises and Mercutio, Benvolio, and Romeo, are sitting around the house when there is a knock at the door.//

//Knock.//

Benvolio: Alas word is sent to thee from thy love.

Mercutio: I would that word come sooner so thee could end thy search for love and return to us from thy gravely state-

Romeo:(Continued from above)I would thee both leave.

//Benvolio and Mercutio leave.//

//Knock.//

Romeo: Jesu Maria! I anon, anon.

//Romeo opens the door to find an old lady.//

Juliet: I am thy lover's fair Nurse who has come to discuss thy plans with my fair mistress.

//Romeo welcomes the Nurse in.//

Juliet: //Aside:// My mistre//ss// which is my very own heart.

Romeo: I would wed thy mistress at this second. Could she be at Friar Lawrence's cell by midday to take my unworthy hand.

Juliet: She would to take thy hand at this moment.

Romeo: How could thee know her answer so quickly?

Juliet: Because I hath her burning love for thee. My mistress and I are one of the same.

//Juliet takes off her disguise.//

Romeo: Wherefore art thou thy Nurse? (Surprised so not in verse)

Juliet: I hath see thee ere we by Friar wed. I hath no idea if thou truly missed and love'st me. I now see thou unmatched love. Now my love for thee burns ever strong. Let us head to the Friar's cell so that We may become one in name and in person.

Romeo: Quickly,we art wasting the fair sunlight. Grace me with thy sacred hand.

Juliet: (Indented) My pleasure.

Romeo: O Friar, O Friar, Anon, Anon.

//Romeo and Juliet exit quickly while holding hands.// -Bernese Mountain Dog

This is a really cool idea, but I just don't understand what Juliet is trying to accomplish by dressing up as the Nurse in the first place. I think this would be a lot more clear if you added a few lines at the beginning explaining why. Also, why does Juliet say "I hath no idea if thou love'st me"? I'm pretty sure that both Romeo & Juliet recognized their love from the moment they met. Overall, though, this is really well written and I like the idea a lot. Labradoodle

I like your idea, and I think the verse sounds good too. I like it how Romeo gets out of verse because he is so surprised. I agree with Labradoodle: I was a little confused about Juliet's reasoning too, maybe you could add a scene where Juliet talks to the Nurse or maybe just a monologue, about why she wants to see him herself. Maybe she loves him so much, she must seem him sooner. It just seems a little random, without any reasoning behind it. I really liked it though, and I thought your use of some of the vocab was really good! ** Yorkshire Terrier **

Your verse is very good, and I like how you used Shakespearean wording such as "Jesu Maria" and "Anon. Implementing those resources really makes the whole piece seem much more realistic. I agree with Labradoodle. Why does Juliet have no idea Romeo loved her if the previous night it was pretty clear they truly loved each other. You should say that Juliet wasn't sure if Romeo TRULY loved her so she came to check. Also, there is a line where it says, "Romeo opens the door to a old lady." Make it "an old lady." However, the scene is very good and what I like about it is that it conveys the message quickly in a concise and easy to read passage. ** teacupchihuahua **